So what ya gonna do?

What are we going to do? Everything possible. Not all together though, I'm not ready to try everything and not succeed.

This may be where I become apparently unhinged....

I am fairly sure (read paranoid) that my weight may be one of, if not the main factor in my problems. Equally, however, I think a lot of my weight is related to my problems. I guess honestly wont hurt, I wear dress size 22 (uk) and my BMI is 41. None of this is helped by the bar of Galaxy sitting by my side, I know this. Despite this, I dont eat too badly, my calorie intake is equal to or less than my alleged usage for my size. I have gained 2 stone (14lbs) since coming off the pill 6 months ago. This would appear to be linked in some way to the POF. I also have no energy whatsoever, like, cant get the energy to go to the bathroom until I really have no choice. Also apparently I can blame this on the POF. I believe if I could lose weight, I would stand a better chance of having a baby, but I have treid every diet going over the last 4 years (since I gained all this weight, and when I believe the POF started) and nothing works. Nothing. Nada.

I am now wondering if it is possible that there is another reason for the weight gain, and no loss. Two things I am considering are 1) A food intolerance and 2) Insulin resistance.

Number 2 leads me to another pondering of mine, I have seen it somewhere that POF can be cause by PCOS. My FSH levels and LH levels dont indicate PCOS, but that doesnt necessaily mean I cant have PCOS, right, because the POF raises the FSH levels higher than they would have been, so it could be hiding the PCOS. (This is the crazy talking, BTW, but thats what this is for)

Anyway, I am waiting on the referal for the transvag scan, which will hopefully answer this one for me, and there is no other way for me to know, so right now I am going with number 1.

I cant really afford to go for intollerance testing at the moment, my H has just finished college and doesnt have a job yet, so we are not flush, although we survive, so I am trying different things. The first food group I have cut from my diet is gluten/wheat. I am on day 3 so far, and will try each one for 2 or 3 weeks to see if it makes any difference.

In addition to this, I am taking wheatgrass. I bought the powder cos it was half the price of the tablets, but in future I will get the tablets, believe me. It tastes okay in pineapple juice, and bearable in OJ, but still icky. H is taking it too out of sympathy, and he said it turned his poo green. Personally I havent looked!

Next, the vitamins, various ones, normal ones, ones for menopausal women, and ones to aid weightloss. Fingers crossed anyway.

Thats really it for my current methods, however, the crazy took over today and I bought some home FSH tests (yeah like it will reverse this fast), home sperm tests (I would like to know we are only fighting one battle).

And the last crazy??? In my head, my problems, the POF and everything else I associate with it, have a persona, one I cna pyshically fight, and imagine myself kicking ass with when I am power walking, and that persona is....