Chain reaction...

One of the things that has really surprised me since the diagnosis, is just how many people I have told. Seriously - I've put it on the net, so I dont even know how many people know now.

I am usually quite a private person, especially when it comes to my failings, and I see POF as one of those. So far I haven't had a bad reaction, obviously shock is most peoples gut instinct ('But you're so young')

The reactions have been varied, but have included:

'But you look so healthy'
'If they can make a 60 yr old woman have triplets, they can give you a baby'
'Actually, I'm terrified that I am also IF'
'Actually, I am also IF'

Some people I wouldn't have expected to have cried, which was lovely.

My best friend immediately offered to be a donor, or even a surrogate, just say the word. In fact, so did my sister. That was a huge help, and I dont think either or them will no how much yet, as even though I am not ready to go down either of those paths, the knowledge that they would do that for me still brings a lump to my throat.

If you are reading this as a friend or relative of someone in my shoes, then I would have to advise you not to go with either of the following responses:

Person X, listen to me for all of two minutes, then launch into a speil about how she has decided this is the time for her to TTC, and she will be getting folic acid, and 'dont hate me if I get pregnant'. Honey, it took all my strength not to punch you then and there. I know this is somewhat contradictory, but although I would like to think you wont treat me any differently, honestly, when it comes to some things, yes, you do need to treat me differently. This hurts. Badly. Please dont talk about your own plans yet, I am still too raw. When I'm not, I'll tell you.

Person Y, when I try to see the positive, or find some semblance of hope in something I find on line, or in a book, dont tell me its hopeless, dont say you dont want me to get my hopes up. Let me get my hopes up. Please. If I cant, then will you be around me 24/7 to bring me out of the depths of despair, cos believe me, it happens, and I have had those thoughts.

In short, empathise, sympathise, act surpised. Offer to help if you can and want to. This is not a time for negativity by anyone. Except me.