Saturday 6 September 2008

The stupid things people say

The other day, as I was fanning my face, as I do most days, a friend of mine laughed and said, 'you're not starting hot flashes already are you?'

I'm furious with her, because she knows all about the POF and what it means.

This is the same friend who, when I was bemoaning the standard of care I am (not) getting, replied that 'it's just like my verucca'.

I've come to realise that not everyone will understand, not only POF, but IF in general. This girl thinks its comparible to a verucca. The thing is, there is no comparison. People can have empathy, or sympathy. People can appreciate how difficult it is, how painful it is, and how upset I am.

But no-one else is me. I'm going through something which a lot of other women are too, but I don't know exactly how they feel, nor vice versa. Everyone is different, everyone deals in different ways. We all have different reactions to the news, different circumstances, different feelings about it. I know that's a lot of different, but we are. As people. We are all individual.

But that aside, I feel the same thing for everyone of us, POFers, IFers, all of us. Some will agree with me that this is the worst thing to have every happened to us. Some wont, but it will still be pretty high up the list.

I hope that everyone who is dealing with this, can in some way find peace, and come to terms with it. I know I still haven't, but I look forward to the day when I am happy again. I believe I will be. I will not let this define me. POF is not who I am, but it is part of making me who I will become.

Much love to everyone.

2 comments:

Leslie Laine said...

You're right - everyone has a different reaction to circumstances that are so similar. And, I continue to feel outraged at the audacity and insensitivity of people in my life who just don't get it. Frighteningly (and ironically I suppose), one of the most insensitive people in my life to my IF issues is a friend who got pregnant from her second attempt at IVF. I often have no response (except for shocked silence) at her insensitivity when I'm talking about where we are in our journey. Just recently, she actually argued with me that many women just never find out why they can't get pregnant - she was insistent that this happens to a lot of women. This was in response to a comment I had about my IF frustrations.

I didn't even know how to respond I was so shocked.

So, I completely get what you're saying in your post. Frankly, sometimes I think that some of the only people who really understand what I'm going through are the people in the blogger world.

Thinking of you,
l.

I Believe in Miracles said...

Yes, we don't all react the same, but I'd imagine that we all feel the pain of IF.
I hope you find peace and happiness soon.
**HUGS**