I'm sorry, but warning in advance that this post is not particularly nice.
I started out today very happy and positive, I just got my appointment for donor IVF in September.
I had to go to the doctor after work for my HRT, not my usual doctor, but I wasn't bothered. We were talking about things, and I told him I was going for the IVF next year.
This is when things took a turn for the worse. He was not at all supportive, and tried to put me off, I was hysterical by the end and till am.
I didnt tell him which clinic or anything, but he told me it would be a con, and that there success rates would only be about 20% really, and it probably wont work, and that I will end up with a 'scrambled baby' because the donors will be women who walk in off the streets looking for money for drugs, and they wont be screened properly, and would all lie about medical history anyway.
He asked me why wont I just adopt, and that all I am doing is having someone elses baby anyway, so why not just adopt. When I said we had originally wanted 4 children, he said that was ridiculous anyway, and we could adopt a family of 4 instead, and having a baby is more than having a pet.
And he went on about how with IVF they just fill you full of unnatural drugs (after giving me a prescription for hrt and antidepressants) and kept asking why we wouldnt adopt instead of this.
I just dont understand, every other doctor I have seen has told me straight away to have donor IVF, and my gyno told me to go abroad, its not like this is something I have chosen to do, its the only way.
I'm absolutely gutted right now, and cant think straight, and am terrified, what if he is right?
I just dont know what to think.
The Story That Almost Wasn’t Told
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At the start of spring break, I made the Wolvog’s favourite salmon dish,
and at the end of spring break, I made the ChickieNob’s favourite pasta. We
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22 hours ago
6 comments:
Oh dear.
I think your hit someone with some sort of religious beliefs about assisted conception.
ANd there is no 'just' to adopt.
Don't be fazed by what is just another person's belief system- doctor or no they know no more than you do. In fact, it sounds like they know rather less.
Unethical. Very unethical of them. It was none of thier business, quite frankly.
(and I'm a doc myself)
J
That dr was extremely unethical. I'd suggest taking his opinion with a grain of salt and then shaking it off.
I don't think any decision at this point is easy. We opted the IVF route, because we wanted an option to have a child - at least our DNA. With donor sperm, you at least get 1/2 y'alls DNA. If you adopt, it's someone elses child altogether.
I hope you can think straight soon and decide what you want without being too influenced by crazy dr.
I think the doctor you saw was someone with his own agenda and no concern about your needs. For whatever reason this doctor seems to have a problem with ART and instead of just saying that his belief system couldn't support your decision he had to try to convert you to his belief system by trying to scare you into believing. He is wrong. I'm sorry you had to deal with this but the info he gave you is not true. I'm so sorry. Hugs to you.
What a total ass. I am so so sorry you ever had to deal with such a miserable human being.
I have had many friends try to become donors and the screening was intense. Many never made it and these were great well educated women.
If my latest IVF had not worked I was already planning on doing donor embryo in India at a fantastic clinic there.
My own clinic has great egg donor's and loves them and treats them wonderfully.
I am again so sorry for that jerk. I would even consider reporting him.
Good luck with everything.
OMG! What a monumental ASS! You really have to fire this doc. Please don't set foot in his office again.
There's no reason you shouldn't have a wonderful donor conceived baby. Forget about his monumental ignorance!
That is horrid... I got a toned down version myself from a doctor at the menopause clinic. I went in looking to explore HRT and left so upset by her comments on fertility treatments that I couldn't even take the pills, even if I probably should have. I was so shaken by my doctors comments -- but looking back I think I was afraid that if a DOCTOR said such shit, what would other people in my life say. And guess what, no one has ever ever in real life said anything other than supportive. Best wishes!
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